Dan Orlovsky Pushed Me Off a Cliff
This past summer my family and I decided to check out the popular Connecticut funspot: Brownstone Quarry. If you’ve never been, it's an old stone quarry that’s been converted to a water park. There are zip-lines, inflatables, cliff jumps and even the human blob from the 1995 classic “Heavyweights”.
As you enter, It feels like you're walking to a 1990’s Summer Camp movie. You sign your kids life away at the entrance and then it's off for hours off lightly supervised, moderately dangerous fun!
We find a shady spot to set up camp for the day and the kids excitedly plan what obstacle to tackle first. Nothing brings me more happiness than Days like this, but they are equally challenging. My dumb brain sometimes forgets that while I’m still in my 30’s and ready to attack this park with the vigor of a teenager, my body is not what it used to be and I can only hope it keeps up with me.
We head across the bridge, jump in the water, swim over to the ladder and begin the climb up to the jumping spot. On the way, I recognize a taller guy with a backwards hat on but I can’t place how I know him. We make it to the lower of the two jumping spots and join the line. As we get closer to the front, you can feel the anxiety rising in the group. My 9 year old daughter's lack of fear stands out amongst the crowd. She steps up to the edge, waits for the go sign from the half baked teenage lifeguard and happily springs off the cliff with a smile.
Inspired by her bravery I get out of line and head to the higher jumping area. My former self wouldn’t blink at the thought of putting my body on the line to accomplish something. Maybe it comes from my dad making me dangle off the top of a 40 foot ladder to paint the peaks of houses for $10.00 an hour or my basketball coaches for alway praising my diving hustle plays: But cancer changes a man. Almost dying has made me acutely aware of the importance of a healthy body and trained me to avoid unnecessary risks. I’ve adopted a conservative approach when it comes to exposing myself to bodily injury, but for some reason today I needed to get over that mental hurdle and remind myself what it feels like to cheat death.
The higher jump area was empty, so I walked to the edge just to check it out. Upon investigation, I decided that the smaller jump was a good starting point and I turned around to head back down only to be startled by the tall guy with a backward hat. This time, I was close enough to see that it was Uconn legend Dan Orlovsky. I froze at the sight of him, not because I was in awe of the man with one of the best plays in NFL history,
but more because of my fear of introductions. Losing the function of my right hand makes introducing myself to new people super awkward. I have resorted to proactively reaching out for a fist bump, but that's not ideal for all situations. Combine that with the fact that I usually don’t bother famous people in public. In 2006, I silently sat next to Peter Gammons for an hour at an Applebee's bar and enjoyed my buffalo chicken sandwich as he chewed his steak with his mouth open(not a joke).
Here I am, Classic rock in a hard place. Except it was Dying Guy stuck between a 30 foot drop and Dan Orlovsky. The decision was clear, I wasn’t about to have an awkward interaction and I certainly wasn’t going to chump out and let Dan go first. So, I spin around, give a thumbs up to the now fully baked lifeguard and step off the cliff. As I plunged towards the water I felt the same rush my old self used to enjoy. I splash safely into the water and look up to relish in my accomplishment. At the top of the cliff I see Dan peaking over in fear and I wonder what he must be thinking watching the oldest looking young guy with one arm go full send over the edge and If I weighed into his decision just as much as he did in mine. I doubt it, but Dan gave me the extra boost I needed to overcome a pretty big mental hurdle. I don’t think I’ll be skydiving anytime soon, but I am certainly less averse to risk than I was prior to not meeting Dan Orlovsky.
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